Why do i alwasy fall for the wrong ones??????
I don’t know why I keep doing it to myself time and time again, but I suppose it just goes back to the theory u want what you can’t have!
It’s ridiculous, I thought I was over this guy but clearly I’m not, I want to be, but its not happening anytime soon.
I’ll paint the picture for you, thast if you care/bother to read on.
You see I have this really really close group of friends, there’s 10 of us, 5 girls, 5 boys.
4 of them are now boyfriend and girlfriend, including my best friend. Which I am totally happy for, don’t get me wrong, its just a shock to the system when you have had this person there anytime you need or wanted them to be and now theres a new person around. (But neway that’s a totally different story)
So neway, this group of friends started as 8 of us, but about 5 months ago we added two new guys to our group, and it was the best times we have had in such a long time. We were going out every weekend Friday and Saturday nights. We were doing day activities on the weekend, going to the movies, taking trips down to St Kilda and sitting on the beach having ice cream while watching the boys play wrestling games, Just doing fun things we use to do as kids and we were having a ball.
Now as this group got closer, so did individuals in the group, we sort of all broke off into our “couples”, and im paying for it now.
Its funny because I had always heard of this guy, the boys, even my female friends would talk about. They would go on and on about this guy with the kick arse car that was sooooooooo hot with the best body ever, and I’m like all right well I’m gunna have to met this guy.
So I finally got to met this guy at a friends 21st, but I didn’t know it was him at the time, and man did I hate this guy after my first encounter, I was not a fan at all.
He was cocky, arrogant, and I didn’t even find him that attractive, except he did have an awesome body I will give him that.
So anyway I didn’t even think twice about this guy. But then there all like that was * Sam * yadda yadda, and im like ohhhhhhhh the one with the SS (my Second fav car by the way) and there all like YES, so I was thinking well gees girls tell me now after I pretty much had a go at him!
After that 21st we didn’t see them for awhile until a couple of months later when we all went out and from that night we have all been inseparable ever since.
That first night we all went out every one had already said how * Sam * and *Linda * would be the ones that hook up, because of course you automatically assume the two hottest people will hook up. So he never entered into my head that way because i was like as if he would ever be interested in me, and plus I still had him pinned as an arrogant bastard.
But as the weeks and weekends went on, and we were hanging out more and more, all of us girls thought he was arrogant so we never really gave him a chance, until one night I started up a conversation with him and found out he was actually a pretty cool guy. He’s your typical shy guy that puts on the tough front.
So from that night on it was pretty much over for me I was sold.
It was like I couldn’t wait for the weekends cos I just wanted to hang with him and be around him, he was such a fun guy to be around and I hadn’t met a guy like that in ages, i was getting bored and needed someone new to get to know. But at this stage I really just wanted to get to know him more as a friend and have him as a good buddy. So as that began we had the strangest friendship (we still do), but back then it was very strange.
You see I had met my match, I’m a huge smart-ass /bitch and he is exactly the same, so we had the fighting/flirting friendship to start off with. Everyone use to love hearing us fight and say how funny it was cos we use to just hang sooooo much shit on each other, we are so much alike in that sense.
Then came the night of my birthday and he came into the city with us and he even drove, but he was really the only one who actually cared or even noticed for that matter that it was my birthday and that I was the one suppose to be having fun, so he was always asking me where I wanted to go, and I was like evrywhere everyone is going to have fun, and he said to me “screw them, its your night, where are you going to have fun!!”
So I dunno, I saw another side to him that night or something cos after that I started thinking bout him a lot.
So then I took that extra step and got his number off a friend of his/mine. But, still at this stage I swear to this day ( even if ppl don’t believe me) I really did just want to get to know him and have him as a friend, because he was easy to talk to and it was starting of fresh with someone new, that had no idea about the shit between our group, so when talking to him we never spoke about people in the group, it was more about ourselves, and just pointless crap.
So we started messaging each other all the time I swear it was every day at least, and the weekends came and we hung out and stuff, until one weekend I finally bit the bullet and kissed him when we were out at a club.
It was the best time I have had in ages, we just mucked around and had a ball. So we went back to a mate’s place and crashed in front of his fire, it has to go down as one of my best times I have ever had, because it was just so much fun, two friends mucking around.
After that, that’s when I go all weird and freak out, and close up! It has to be my biggest fault, the night after we went out and I don’t think I spoke to him once I may have said hi, but that’s as far as it went. I’m an idiot when it comes to the shit afterwards.
But that week he went away for the whole week so it was like I didn’t have to see him or anything, we still spoke through messages and we were still flirting and stuff, which was fun.
But then came the weekend were it all went terribly wrong, well I put it down to this weekend anyway, we took a trip down to Philip Island and all stayed down there. There was about 15 of us all in this tiny house, granted it was a fucking blast, but that was the turning point in a “friendship”.
There was a lot of alcohol flowing that night, and I was going through a lot of problems at home, so I just fully let loose that night, I stood on a lot of peoples feet that night with shit I said and did. I don’t regret anything that I did but I could have handled it better. But once again we fell asleep in front of the fire and ended up being together. It wasn’t as fun as I remembered the first time, I felt like when we were together we were angry at each other and it was like, eh well theres no one else so I may aswell be with you type thing. So the next day I felt like absolute rat shit, I didn’t look at him, talk to him, nothing and we had to spend the whole day up there, all I wanted to do was go home and cry.
So as you can imagine I went cold, stopped speaking to him as much, and stayed away from him when we were out and about.
The big change for me came when my friend had his house empty for two weeks and we pretty much lived there on weekends with him.
One night we all took a trip into the city and ended up back at his place to crash. It was just * Sam * and I sleeping in the lounge room, and normally I would have just crashed next to him on the floor but for some reason I was like nah I’m just sleeping on the couch. I regret it totally but I don’t know what it was that made me sleep on the couch that night!!!
I stopped thinking of him that way for awhile, and just became his buddy and stuff, but then I was with this guy a few weeks ago and I was like nope not right, I did not have fun at all!!!!
This weekend I had a ball to some extent, yesterday and last night was great fun, and it made me understand why I have grown to like *Sam * so much. He likes to do fun things and just hang out, and he’s always up for doing something.
Like Last night he organised a BBQ round at our mates place and it was so much fun. They brought the couch outside because it was such a nice night and my friend and I were curled up under the blankets. We just sat there watching the boys cook the dinner and listening to there bloke talk, and it was a ball, and I just listened and watched and was like yeah, im hooked again, I don’t want to nor can I help it. It just happens, I hate it but at the same time I can’t control it.
But saying all that my biggest problem: * Sam* now has a girlfriend.
As much as I’m happy for him, it still hurts a little and I hate having to act happy and fine with things when there around. I love being his friend I do and I don’t want it to end, but it’s just a little harder now cos there actually getting serious and its like wow he really is sold now. And him talking to me about it is hard, but I guess that’s what friends do.
And I guess I have to deal with it and move on!!!!!!!!
Why do I keep falling for the wrong guys, it sucks???????